THE MAGICAL ARMCHAIR

The Ben Folds Five Digest

Issue #887 - March 16, 1998



Magical Armchair Digest     Monday, March 16 1998     Volume 01 : Number 887



                          THE MAGICAL ARMCHAIR
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TOPICS IN THIS DIGEST:

    BF5 Whatever Chat
    Karaoke.
    Secret Track.
    surfacing it all...
    Is Eddie Walker Dead? 
    Re: Magical Armchair Digest V1 #885
    academy fight song
    "favorite books? voltaire- candide. it's short." --kurt vonnegut
    Re: The Brick Editorial
    About Eddie Walker...
    somebody else in ballarat with a ben folds five shirt!!! 
    Names, names, names...
    Singles and more...
    Re: Magical Armchair Digest V1 #885
    Pull over the car...Caroline, no
    BF5 piano music
    BF5 piano music
    Re: Magical Armchair Digest V1 #885

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Sun, 15 Mar 1998 12:40:02 CST 
From: "Petra Starke" <naturalselection@hotmail.com>
Subject: BF5 Whatever Chat

I swear to god, it's really getting me down - every time I go into that 
damn chatroom it's always just as someone (usually 'Kate') is leaving! 
Am I jinxed or what? 

Ohhhh goddamn,

Petra
(pea)

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------------------------------

Date: Sat, 14 Mar 1998 18:24:56 -0800
From: "Jennifer Auletto" <jenito@ix.netcom.com>
Subject: Karaoke.

Hey, do you know what's really fun?  If you have a karaoke thing on your
stereo, tape all of BFF's songs without the words, then sing along with them
in the car on roadtrips and stuff.  I did that this weekend and it was very
cool.  It's especially cool if you have two people in the car (who both know
the words...) so you can harmonize.  Try it!!!

==================
Jennifer Auletto
jenito@ix.netcom.com

------------------------------

Date: Sat, 14 Mar 1998 21:59:01 EST
From: PSYCHOPAF <PSYCHOPAF@aol.com>
Subject: Secret Track.

I am so bummed! Y'all are talking about that track on the end of "Evaporated."
But, mine doesn't have it! I tried to leave it go, after the song, but, it
just stops. Anyone know what's up? E-mail me at PSYCHOPAF@aol.com


Thanks
Amy
"You can laugh all you want, but I got my philosophy."-Philosophy.

------------------------------

Date: Sat, 14 Mar 1998 22:13:53 EST
From: Rocket no8 <Rocketno8@aol.com>
Subject: surfacing it all...

<< I have the opportunity to buy W&EA and one of the Underground
 singles on vinyl, and I was basically wondering if these are rare (ie:
 should I snap them up right now before they disappear??).  Is BFF
 material readily available on vinyl in the US? >>
it is nigh impossible to find either album on vinyl, so i'd suggest snapping
it up. i do have the Underground 7"(with b-side "Satan Is My Master"), which i
got a couple yrs ago after seeing them live when i couldn't find the album.
<< brick is about going to the vet >>
>By now we should all know that Brick is about Ben's High School girlfriends
>abortion.  What is this stuff about the vet?  This is begining to piss me
off.>>
::LOL::
<<How about if BF5 covered "Brand new love" by the almighty Sebadoh?
I dont think I even need to say how much that would rock.  Superchunk proved
to me that it could be done...BF5 could only improve it.>>
that might be cool. i didn't know Superchunk did it, but i have a cool little
solo acoustic version of it by Lee Ranaldo(of Sonic Youth fame).
~~~~~~~~~~~
that letter about "Brick" in the Parent's Express was weird, but oddly
touching. i guess the bottom line for me is pretty much that i don't at all
resent the band's popularity, but that a song that is beautiful but no better
than any other is subjected to the sickening saturation of commercial radio.
think of how many bands and songs you've loved that have gotten zero airplay.
it's criminal. it practically should fall under the government's anti-monopoly
laws, if you ask me. if there was any justice, instead of always playing
"Brick," radio stations would alternate between all or many of the band's
songs.
- -al
"thank you for the hip advice, not advice that was cool, but advice about my
hip"

------------------------------

Date: Sat, 14 Mar 1998 22:09:22 -0600 (CST)
From: Mat Hames <mhames@onramp.net>
Subject: Is Eddie Walker Dead? 

Sorry if this has been discussed before but....

What are the lyrics to Eddie Walker about? It sounds like a guy who's
suffered a traumatic death, and is in some sort of "Waiting Room" before
reaching Heaven where he's putting his life into perspective. Any takers?

------------------------------

Date: Sat, 14 Mar 1998 23:51:12 EST
From: JGreenb106 <JGreenb106@aol.com>
Subject: Re: Magical Armchair Digest V1 #885

In a message dated 98-03-14 22:44:47 EST, you write:

<< 
 Please tell me you joking!!!  His life sounds great?  I like BF5 as much as
 the rest of us, but his life sounds anything but great....did you even listen
 to the lyrics???? duh.
 
 Am I the only one who feels this way?
  >>
No, I feel the same... Eddie Walker just wasted his life away and never had a
son or a wife, and all his childhood friends don't see, to care about him...
I don't think his life wasn't too great at all.

------------------------------

Date: Sat, 14 Mar 1998 23:04:23 -0600
From: chdevers@juno.com (abe froman) 
Subject: academy fight song

>Who came up with the word "teenybopper"?

uh, richard milhaus nixon. september of 1964. he was talking about
beatlemania. hehe...

***** making change *****
><<By the way, .02 cents is not 2cents it is 2/100's of a cent>> 
>Hey Marc S. Kaplan, that is too 2 cents... You are right though, 
>that it is 2/100, but that's what pennies are. Takes 100 of them 
>to equal $1.00..... What do you think $0.50 equals?? 50 cents.... 

$.02 = two cents.
¢02 = also two cents.
¢.02 = two _hundredths_ of a cent.
.02 cents = presumably also two hundredths of a cent.

...just my fifty bucks worth... hehe...

***** wow! *****
>The best of all possible worlds,  Cunégonde

that's about one of my favorite books...
"all is for the best in this best of all possible worlds..."
yeah _right_... 

>Seeing Penn and Teller on March 27th

wow! where! hafta see if they'll be anywhere i'll be any 
time soon... damn... they kick some mighty posterior...

old habits die hard, as they say...


- --chris

++++++++++++++++++++++++++
"Athiests make the best Christians..." --me


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------------------------------

Date: Sat, 14 Mar 1998 23:13:43 -0600
From: chdevers@juno.com (abe froman) 
Subject: "favorite books? voltaire- candide. it's short." --kurt vonnegut

>i also thoroughly enjoyed Abe Froman's posts. 

um, thanks. can't remember what i said and i save nothing, so, uh, just
thanks... 

***** kill yr idols *****
>If anyone loves BFF email me, k? 

we hate them. 
all of us do. 
and we hate you cuz you admit liking em.
"ben folds is a fucking asshole". 
damn straight.
...hehe...

actually, as for that quote, i don't have a clear sense of who is who in
the band, but i always figured it was the same person that is talking
between some of the songs, stuff like "i like that one" (in this half
drunk voice after one song) and "i was thinking we should respect ths
input of..." "ahh, shut up, is anyone talking? etc." after another song.
seems like one person is getting picked on throughout the album, and he
gets his 'revenge' through that hidden track. from the sorts of things he
says (assuming it's one person) i figured it was a band member, but you
guys would know more about this than me i'm sure. oh well, whatever, it's
funny...


- --chris

++++++++++++++++++++++++++
"Athiests make the best Christians..." --me

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------------------------------

Date: Sun, 15 Mar 1998 00:52:05 EST
From: DanDWarhol <DanDWarhol@aol.com>
Subject: Re: The Brick Editorial

finally! it had to be said! that artical that was retyped for armchair about
the mother and son listening to Brick is EXACTLY what their music is about.
Not about this selling out crap. Not about pointing out grammatical and
spelling errors. Its about the music. And the essence of their music was
captured beautifully in that editorial. Ben Folds Five music is about getting
caught in the melody, being transported from the miserable hellhole that is
our lives to a better place, and having music simply making you feel better. I
wish i could write down exactly the way that editorial spoke to me, but i
cant. I do know that that kid and his mom are bigger fans than half of you
armchair people. They dont like the band in the sense of a competition in who
could collect more singles. Nor are they less of fans because they dont have
the first album, or havent followed the band around for a few weeks and sat
front row at their concerts. they are fans because the music spoke to them. It
peaked their interest. An as much as I dont like having Brick as the bands
single, it is obviously working. It is bringing in more fans. So what if they
are so called Brick-heads? Everyone, and i mean EVERYONE here is a (fill in a
bff song)-head. Everyone likes the band because they heard some song they
liked. So these people heard brick. I heard Underground. Big deal. That story
is what the armchair should be about. Not bashing people for not knowing the
meanings of songs. I dont get the chorus of Jackson Cannery (big brother got
the keys and i got jackson cannery), but does that make me less of a fan? No.
The music speaks to me. It spoke to them. And thats what makes them ben folds
five fans...much more than the person who knows what color nail polish ben
wore once, or the color of darrens underwear.

Thats just my opinion, i could be wrong

Aaron

oh, just one question: were OAD and/or BOWCCL released as a singes? cause i
heard them both on my local alternative station, 106.3...a lot....both in
early-to-mid summer

------------------------------

Date: Sun, 15 Mar 1998 02:16:15 EST
From: LoonyLiz <LoonyLiz@aol.com>
Subject: About Eddie Walker...

At the Warfield show, Ben introduced with "This next song is about visiting a
guy in a halfway house."  Just thought I'd let y'all know :)

Liz =o)

------------------------------

Date: Sun, 15 Mar 1998 18:40:20 -0600
From: "Julie 'anti-gavin'" <shadow@ballarat.hotkey.net.au>
Subject: somebody else in ballarat with a ben folds five shirt!!! 

It happened!!! I freaked!!! I went mental!!!! I embarrassed my friends!!!!
My friend almost slapped me!!! Yeah you can understand why. I was wearing
mine too, but a different one, I have the one though. SHIT

- -Julie 'anti-gavin'

"Have you stopped breathing or is Ben Folds around??" my friend

------------------------------

Date: Sun, 15 Mar 1998 15:58:56 +0800
From: "DesByrne" <DesByrne@bigpond.com>
Subject: Names, names, names...

big brother	Julianne		Dave & Cheryl	Beth	
Joe Caparo	Darren		Axl Rose	Ross & Frank	
Alice Childress	Uncle Walter	President 	Blair	
Howard 		Mom & Dad	Vic		God	
Kate		(Rosemary & Cameron?)		Steven	
Tamara Easter	Linda McCartney		Eddie Walker	 Emaline		Satan.

This list indicates to me one of two things; Either the boys are going to
run out of people to sing about.

or

I have way too much time on my hands...



"Nevermore".....Quoath the Raven.
				_E.A.Poe   	

------------------------------

Date: Sun, 15 Mar 98 11:04:29 +0100
From: Bengt Stenstr=?ISO-8859-1?Q?=f6m?= <bengt.stenstrom@swipnet.se>
Subject: Singles and more...

Wonder why they choose "Battle..." for a single. Why not "Evaporated"? 
It's a wonderful song (yeah, all BFF songs are, but...  ;-) ). 

And it's a shame "...jelly" is tucked away on some obscure sampler. And 
why didn't they release the demo of "Underground"?? It could well have 
been a hit.

BuzDun, I agree with you - "Cigarette" is a wonderful piece of music, 
should have been longer, and why not make it an instrumental? I recommend 
an album of piano instrumentals by today's composers/players, like Brian 
Wilson, called "Songs without words" on Windham Hill Records - song 
samples are available on the net.

And yes, they should definitely do something from "Pet Sounds".

Anyone have a tape of BFF B-sides/demos etc for sale? Please e-mail me 
privately (address below). Thanks!!!

Bengt Stenstrom
bengt.stenstrom@swipnet.se 

------------------------------

Date: Sun, 15 Mar 1998 06:33:31 EST
From: Snowwite67 <Snowwite67@aol.com>
Subject: Re: Magical Armchair Digest V1 #885

In a message dated 98-03-14 22:44:49 EST, you write:

<< << brick is about going to the vet >>
 
 
 By now we should all know that Brick is about Ben's High School girlfriends
 abortion.  What is this stuff about the vet?  This is begining to piss me
off.
  >>
My dear, the person who wrote that "brick is about going to the vet", was
joking, at least I hope they were. A while back, when asked in an interview
what "Brick" was all about, Ben told the reporter that it was about taking his
dog to the vet.  So, there is no reason to be pissed off. :)
P.S whats all this about "my 2 cents"?? Everyone and there cat is using this
phrase lately.  Just a little something I've noticed. :)
- -Lauren 

------------------------------

Date: Sun, 15 Mar 1998 13:05:31
From: justinryan@usa.net
Subject: Pull over the car...Caroline, no

I swear some of you guys make me feel retarded. 

Remember all those trees behind the garden? They're gone. Well, they all got cut down when I was wasting time in front of my computer trying to think of all the mean things I could say to all the mean fans of BFF.

Yes! Yes! Yes! "Caroline, no" is THE song for BFF to cover. That song BELONGS in Ben's voice! (Not to take anything away from that other great "B", Brian Wilson).

And if Ben does do the song, maybe he can come sing it to all of us cranky 'chairites to remind us of what's important in life (even though we should have learned our lessons already from "Eddie Walker, Philosophy, etc.)

Hey, there's something unusual about the spelling of "For those of ya'll who wear fanny packs". If any of y'all've (wow! triple contraction! That one chick is gonna KILL me!) noticed it, tell me: Is it intended?

justin(Anal Retentive Spice)

"Who farted?"
~BFF

P.S. I'm partial to Bing Crosby, but why hasn't anyone mentioned that immortal pop balladeer Billy Ocean, singer of such greats as "Suddenly" and "Get out of my dreams (and into my car"?


"Cunegonde, is it true?
Is it you, so still and cold, love?"


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------------------------------

Date: Mon, 16 Mar 1998 00:10:37 +1100
From: "Paul B." <pbland@comcen.com.au>
Subject: BF5 piano music

Armchairers,

Firstly, i have to apologise, I  know this has probably been asked a
million times before, but there is almost nine hundred old armchairs to go
through to find it, so i'm going to ask again, sorry if this annoys you.

i am after ANY BF5 piano music. i sent away for that book from BFFweb but
they sent my money back and said it was sold out :( so if anyone knows even
just a few notes from ANY song, or where on the internet i coud find these
few notes, then please email me and tell me them. my email address is
"pbland@comcen.com.au"

thanks for your time.

====~===~==~=~=~=~==~===~====
(Where's) Paul B.
Melbourne, Australia
pbland@comcen.com.au
====~===~==~=~=~=~==~===~====

------------------------------

Date: Mon, 16 Mar 1998 00:10:37 +1100
From: "Paul B." <pbland@comcen.com.au>
Subject: BF5 piano music

Armchairers,

Firstly, i have to apologise, I  know this has probably been asked a
million times before, but there is almost nine hundred old armchairs to go
through to find it, so i'm going to ask again, sorry if this annoys you.

i am after ANY BF5 piano music. i sent away for that book from BFFweb but
they sent my money back and said it was sold out :( so if anyone knows even
just a few notes from ANY song, or where on the internet i coud find these
few notes, then please email me and tell me them. my email address is
"pbland@comcen.com.au"

thanks for your time.

====~===~==~=~=~=~==~===~====
(Where's) Paul B.
Melbourne, Australia
pbland@comcen.com.au
====~===~==~=~=~=~==~===~====

------------------------------

Date: Sun, 15 Mar 1998 08:52:01 EST
From: AJR11283 <AJR11283@aol.com>
Subject: Re: Magical Armchair Digest V1 #885

In a message dated 98-03-14 22:53:13 EST, you write:

<< 
 Date: Fri, 13 Mar 1998 21:56:07 -0500
 From: "John Felten" <Sammy7@gte.net>
 Subject: Bff on tv
 
 Since we're all talking about Dawson's Creek and stuff, I have a question. 
 On the first episode of Road Rules, when they are bungy jumping, they
 played One Angry Dwarf and 200 Solemn Faces in the backround.  Did anyone
 else notice that?
 
 - -Daria
 
 ------------------------------ >>

Yeah I heard it in the backround..I was so happy to hear it cause I love BFF
and they should get more noticed

------------------------------

End of Magical Armchair Digest V1 #887
**************************************


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