THE MAGICAL ARMCHAIR

The Ben Folds Five Digest

Issue #977 - May 6, 1998



Magical Armchair Digest     Wednesday, May 6 1998     Volume 01 : Number 977



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TOPICS IN THIS DIGEST:

    The Beale St. Music Festival
    teleconned answer
    K-rock dysfunctional family picnic`
    Air?
    Michigan Joe and his "thoughts" ;)
    Re: Magical Armchair Digest V1 #973
    Jazz (non-BF5, sorry)
    F---in' mother f---ers
    info on SAN JOSE show!!
    all ages show
    Moshing is good for you
    i disagree
    Recycle/Trash sound 
    bff's in a magazine!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Mon, 4 May 1998 20:49:53 EDT
From: BlueJellow <BlueJellow@aol.com>
Subject: The Beale St. Music Festival

Dear BFF fans,

THIS IS A COMMENTARY FROM A FIRST BFF CONCERT PERSPECTIVE

Ok, I'm going to write a story about my first ever BFF concert in Memphis
Tennessee on May 3rd.  
I live in Jackson.  That's roughly a three hour drive.  The ride up there was
fun despite my newly broken toe from stumbling in the shower earlier in the
day.  It really hurt but luckily I was brave and wore my comfiest Doc martens.
I wore my "middle C ringer shirt" that has the middle finger (CAN ANYONE TELL
ME WHOSE HAND IT IS?) and so me and my friends went off.  When we got there we
looked around for like a half hour and couldn't find any BFF merchandise, so
that sucked.  So we went to the stage to meet up with a bunch of my friends.
We sat down and waited for Paula Cole.  We waited like an hour, and finally
people started standing up, so we did too.  My friend then says to me, "who's
that guy in the back on the drums?" Well, behind all of Paula's shit was
DARREN fiddling with his cymbals.  I just about had a heart attack.  Keep in
mind this was the first time I saw him.  He had an AWESOME outfit on.  He had
this kick ass hat and neat sunglasses, I was very impressed.  I yelled,
"DARREN!" and tried to wave, and I'm sure he heard me, there was no way he
couldn't have heard me.  But he ignored me.  That kinda sucked.  I mean, I
totally love Darren, he's the greatest drummer. 

           Ok, so I had to sit through and entire hour of Paula and her
feminist bullshit and armpit hair, and she really SUCKED.  She did all these
really scary satanic moves, she's so stange.  Anyway, as soon as she was over,
me and my friends squeezed through to go to the front.  There was just enough
room for the 5 of us and all of the other people.  So I stood there guarding
my spot.  From where I was standing, you could see through this tarp thing and
you could see all the bands on the other side chillin'.  So I see Robert.
WOW.  He had the coolest shirt. It said Chicago in all types of writing ALL
over it.  He had neato pants and I noticed he kept his wallet in the left side
of his pants. I'm sorry, I had to stand in a crowded space for TWO hours, I
was bored.  Plus I was mesmerized (sp).  He had great green sunglasses too. I
yelled Robert and waved, and he waved back.  This made me feel very good.  He
then proceeded to do about 1000 sound checks on his cello and his bass.  I
guess this is because of the problems he had with his bass in Nashville.

      I'm wondering if anyone from the armchair was there, because this one
couple, one girl with short brown hair and a guy with a hat on were in front
center, and Darren and Robert both acknowleged them. i was jealous.  So there
I'm standing, with this cup of piss in front of me, two chain smokers next to
me and a broken toe.  I'm 15, and no one is taking me seriously.  Kinda
sucked.  But then they came out. I was so happy. I was grinning so much.  Ben
kinda looked at me and laughed. I must have looked so stupid.  They started
off with Dr. Peyser.  It was great. Every song was great.  I danced and sang,
I loved "Air" it's a great song.  People did the usual stuff like throwing a
black tshirt onstage during SFTD.  People threw pennies at Darren, and my
friend got spit on by Robert. She's treasuring her shirt forever.  I'm sure
she'll never wash it.  Course, ben took off his great yellow shirt and put the
stupid adidas one on.  I must've looked really stupid singing and dancing with
all these retarded Brickheads behind me.  But I don't care, I had the time of
my life. I was so happy. 

Speaking of the time of my life, Green Day could be seen through the tarp, and
they were riding their bikes (don't ask me why) and all the green day fans
behind me wouldn't shut up and they pushed me to see them. how rude!

I saw Robert's girlfriend (I'm guessing this) They look really cute together,
and she looks really nice.  I saw Ben flirting with a chick.  Ben and her wore
matching converse One Stars.  I didn't spot Melantha though.  I would've been
jealous.

It made me kinda sad that I have heard all these really neat stories about you
guys meeting with them and talking with them, and all I got was a wave from
Robert.  Better luck next time, huh?  

I hope you enjoyed this!!!  I enjoyed going.

------------------------------

Date: Mon, 4 May 1998 20:18:10 -0500 
From: "Clasen, Benjamin P" <BPCLASEN@CSBSJU.EDU>
Subject: teleconned answer

>Does anyone know if the version of "Dr. Pyser" on the Teleconned CD is the
>same as the B-Side version??

the version of dr. pyser on the teleconned comp is not the bside version.  it
was recorded last summer on KCRW's morning becomes eclectic.  the string quartet
that joined them at HORDE is present on this version.  it is very cool.  go buy
it.

bc

"To have democracy, we must have access to the airwaves, we must have
non-business spaces where we can exchange ideas, discuss, debate, inform,
educate, experiment, speak in our native languages and share who we are,
not because we want profit but because we love to communicate, because our
constitution guarantees us free speech in public forums."

ARD

------------------------------

Date: Mon, 4 May 1998 21:37:02 EDT
From: DMB 44 <DMB44@aol.com>
Subject: K-rock dysfunctional family picnic`

is ben folds five playing the k-rock show in NY on may 30th? 

------------------------------

Date: Mon, 4 May 1998 22:10:43 EDT
From: Emmaline20 <Emmaline20@aol.com>
Subject: Air?

Well, in the last digest there were two posts which had Air in it...is it the
name of a new song of theirs? I'm ashamed...I try to stay on top of things,
and here I am not doing my job :) Hey, for all of you in the
Springfield/Amherst/Northhampton..basically anyone who lives within driving
distance of the Ingleside Mall in Holyoke, Mass, this store called "The Wave"
or something like that has a ton of "Brick" singles..three versions...well,
they only have one of the one with the "Kate" ska remix, but I took great
pains in hiding that puppy, I will be back to buy it. Oh...and if anyone ever
happens to be at the Whately Diner, just look at the first cd listing in the
small juke boxes. "Brick" is on it...I was going to play it when I was there
but my friends threatened to leave me, they made me play "Are You Jimmy Ray?"
instead...I"m questioning my friendship.

Sarah :)

------------------------------

Date: Mon, 04 May 1998 22:21:41 -0400
From: Jessica Brandt <jbrandt@kent.edu>
Subject: Michigan Joe and his "thoughts" ;)

Okay, there's the essence of the problem I have with the song. To me it's
not a good way of expressing emotions, it is a LAZY way of expressing
emotions. There are so many people who think swearing and having strong
<<emotions go hand in hand. Thus swear words have become adjectives, verbs,
etc....I guess I'm just sick of hearing people swear to convey  EVERY 
emotion. 
 "!$&$!~, I'm so excited!"  or
 "#~!$^%, I'm so pissed off!" or 
"!*^&$, I'm kinda tired." 
I've said this before, I wouldn't want to hear that same song without the
lyrics it has now...it wouldn't be the same song. I just think lyrically
it is the most juvenile. I still think it's a good song. Just not a
particularly good showcase for BF5.>>

Okay ever think of the situation? Like, Darren was so pissed off that he
just wa sspeechless. So if curse words are the anti-words (aka they mean
nothing, etc) then they fit right in....
"I'm so mad i could ...e.0385uetr ser....!!!" nothing.....

do you get it? i mean, it fits, it's the right words. swearing in music is
fine, you know, because it reminds us that rock stars are mostly idiots
(not BF5, of course!)

okay. why don't you all go read THE SHRUBBERY now?
jess



****************************************************************
        I'm not just naked, I'm Naked for Jesus!!!
        *      --+-Read The Shrubbery-+--        *      
          http://www.theshrubbery.prohosting.com    
        --New Every Month- -Humor, News and More--
        
         * Ben Folds Five International Fans Page *
http://www.geocities.com/SunsetStrip/Backstage/6814/fans.html 
       --Get a "Ben" Pal-  -Now Spans 11 Countries--
        
         *     Cousin Jess's World Wide Mess      *
   http://www.geocities.com/SunsetStrip/Backstage/6814
     --Tape Trading- Way Cool Links- Literary Madness--
*****************************************************************

------------------------------

Date: Mon, 4 May 1998 22:27:03 EDT
From: Zyah <Zyah@aol.com>
Subject: Re: Magical Armchair Digest V1 #973

Yes, BFF is going to be on Modern Rock Live, the radio show broadcasting
Sunday nights.  If you're near Philly, it's on Y100 at about 10:30, after the
Philly File.  Not every station picks it up, but it's cool b/c sometimes they
play live.  Any1 listen to that w/Harvey Danger?  I love them.

Oh, and I've just gotta say--I HATE dance remixes.

Lauren

------------------------------

Date: Tue, 5 May 1998 01:02:50 EDT
From: Brad654 <Brad654@aol.com>
Subject: Jazz (non-BF5, sorry)

In a message dated 98-05-04 20:18:41 EDT, you write:

> no you don't.  Jazz is great! Without it we wouldn't even have Ben Folds 
> Five.

Hey, this reminds me. I played at the Wichita Jazz Festival in (duh) Wichita
Kansas last weekend, and there was a quartet that I think BF5 fans would love.
The group is called the Matt Wilson Quartet-- a drummer, a bass player, a
tenor sax and an alto sax (alto sax guy also plays bass clarinet). They were
great! They were named by the New York Circle of Jazz Critics as best new
artist of 1997. 

Anyway, the reason I'm posting this here is because first of all, Andrew, the
alto sax man, reminded a lot of us of Ben, but secondly, and more importantly,
these guys had fun playing. When you see jazz players, they are often laid
back to the point of being in a coma or they are unbearably pompous. Not these
guys. They wailed and they goofed off and they joked and they played the hell
out of that music.

Check them out if this interests you at all. And for those of ya'll who want
to flame me for non-BF5 content, hey, bite me.

Brad

------------------------------

Date: Tue, 5 May 1998 01:02:49 EDT
From: Brad654 <Brad654@aol.com>
Subject: F---in' mother f---ers

In a message dated 98-05-04 20:18:41 EDT, you write:

> I've never understood this logic, or writing F---. You are supposed to know
>  what they mean, and are supposed to understand it's relationship to the
>  rest of the sentence, but it is not written? WHY? Because silly people
>  don't like silly words, I guess.

The bottom line is this: as they used to say on HardCore TV, and as my web
site says, "Profanity makes talking fun."

The uptight people who write "f---" are the same people who mistkenly give us
gems like "Profanity is a symptom of a weak mind trying to express strong
thoughts." What a--holes like those f---ing d--dos don't realise is that
profanity is actually the spice of the g--d---ed motherf---ing languge, the
sh--head a--f---ers.

So if Ben Folds wants to say "F---ing A sh-- g--d---ed son of a b---h a--h--e
motherf---er," I say let him, damnit (oops! I mean, "d---it").

F---ing Brad

------------------------------

Date: Mon, 04 May 1998 23:02:40 -0700
From: arden elisabeth <melancholy@mindspring.com>
Subject: info on SAN JOSE show!!

this really only concerns people who were planning on attending the show in
san jose, may 10th:

i was listening to the radio, and the stupid DJ was like "okay call to win
tickets to bff at the SHORELINE AMPHITHEATRE may 10th!". i was like "what
the HELL?" so i looked at it in the newspaper, and yes, apparently the show
has been moved to the SHORELINE. GRRRRR. THEN i called bass to find out
more info...it was at 10:30 tho', so i couldn't talk to a real person. but
i listened to the concert listings. "ben folds five, with special guests:
superdrag, BLACK LAB, and REEL BIG FISH." again, what the HELL? reel big
fish?!?!?!

so anyway...i still don't know if my tickets for the san jose show will
transfer to lawn seats for the shoreline show or what. i guess i'll call
tomorrow and find out and report back. this completely sucks, because the
shoreline is freaking HUGE, and it's impossible to meet bands there. at
least, i've never met a band there. i asked the security guard where the
buses were and he was like "backstage." i was like "oh...thanks a whole
BUNCH." i hate the shoreline. i vowed never to return to the shoreline. but
i guess if i have seats instead of lawn it will be ok. sigh. anyone who's
attending e-mail me ok? i'm so sorry for all my ranting to everyone else...

provolone,
arden

PS-- this is my first post. hi! :) and sorry if this info has already been
posted, i just never read anything about it and i wanted to make sure
people don't show up in san jose all ready for bff only to be told it's in
mountain view.

------------------------------

Date: Tue, 5 May 1998 04:07:41 EDT
From: Snowwite67 <Snowwite67@aol.com>
Subject: all ages show

<< And I have tickets to the May 9th show at the Hollywood
 Palladium, and I'm scared I won't be able to get in (I'm only 17).  >>
Honey, don't worry.  They tell you if a show is 21/18 and over.  Also, the
Hollywood show is all ages.  Most 21/18 and over shows are at smaller clubs,
not all but most. :)
- -Lauren

------------------------------

Date: Tue, 5 May 1998 09:40:52 +0000
From: "Luke Wilson"<Luke_Wilson@fwuk.fwc.com>
Subject: Moshing is good for you

At the risk of revealing my punk leanings (and my age) to be quite honest,
at both the BFF gigs I have been to in London, there has been a sizeable
crowd having a good mosh. Now, I admit on songs such as Brick and Selfless,
and Fair, and Boxing, and... ok, there's a few, it's wrong to mosh and
crowd-surf, but on Last Polka, and OAD, par example, the crowd went effing
mental. And seeing as (and I quote, probably wrongly, but the idea's right,
so don't correct me just 'cause you're pissed off) "in London we feel
understood", maybe we've got it right, and all you "I'm gonna stand right
at the back and be cooool" people are wrong.

Good-day

Luke

Oh, and five gigs of goodness...

1) BFF, Dec 1997, Shep. Bush, London
2) Green Day, Jan 98, Brixton, London
3) Blur, Dec 97, Brixton, London,
4) Spiritualized, March 98, London
5) Ash, couple of years back, god knows where - my memories not what it
used to be, kiddo. And look, I've managed to limit myself to five. Now that
makes a change.

"It had to be, it had to end,
Losing a lover, gaining a friend."  Mark Morriss.

------------------------------

Date: Tue, 5 May 1998 14:26:24 +0100 (BST)
From: Richard Cheng <richard.cheng@st-edmund-hall.oxford.ac.uk>
Subject: i disagree

> Okay, there's the essence of the problem I have with the song. To me it's
> not a good way of expressing emotions, it is a LAZY way of expressing
> emotions. There are so many people who think swearing and having strong
> emotions go hand in hand. Thus swear words have become adjectives, verbs,
> etc....I guess I'm just sick of hearing people swear to convey  EVERY 
> emotion. 

  i always assumed the song was supposed to be ironic. i thought the whole
point of the song was that that's how people *are* when they've just been
dumped. they're not particularly lucid, or clear thinking. they're angry.
   and so the lyrics aren't lazy, they're an accurate description of how
people feel in that situation.

  rich

------------------------------

Date: Tue, 5 May 1998 13:12:01 -0400
From: spencerc@usit.net (Spencer Corden)
Subject: Recycle/Trash sound 

Attention anyone who cares!

I have isolated the smashing trash sound at the end of Julianne.  It works
just great if you have the capability to assign sounds to a task such
as.....oh, I don't know.......emptying the *recyle bin/trash* depending on
whether you use IBM or Mac.  I sampled it at 44.1 mHz 8 bit stereo, so the
quality is great.  File size is 315K.

So anyway, if you want the file, just email me privately and specify what
format you want the file in.  It sure makes deleting files a lot more fun!
(I would have said funner, but the effect just wasn't there.)

BTW, I saw the guys back stage in Knoxville again and said hi to them from
all of you.  Ben's new girlfriend is from Adelaide in South Australia.
Robert was tired.  Darren really appreciated everyone's fascination with
his posture at the old trap kit.  God bless 'em.....

Spencer
- ----------------------------------
New bumper sticker----"What WOULDN'T Jesus Do?"

------------------------------

Date: Tue, 5 May 1998 12:46:36 -0500
From: "sjoson" <sjoson@reginadominican.pvt.k12.il.us>
Subject: bff's in a magazine!

Look out for this really crappy-looking magazine called Riot Scene, because
there's a seriously adorable picture of the band.  Robert looks
particularly cuddly.  There's also a rather unflattering pinup of Ben. 
It's the June '98 issue, and don't be swayed by the Hit Parader-like
appearance of the magazine.
The issue of Q with Tori Amos on the cover has a full-page ad for Whatever
in it.  I don't know how people feel about paying seven dollars for a
magazine, but I didn't mind since there's also an article on Pulp.  Jarvis
is yummy.

If there's an Armchairman out there who plays the drums, please e-mail me. 
I really want to learn this summer, but I have no idea what the hell I'm
getting into (what I need, how much it'll cost, frustration level of
learning to play, etc.).  Thanks.

Stephanie

------------------------------

End of Magical Armchair Digest V1 #977
**************************************


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