THE MAGICAL ARMCHAIR

The Ben Folds Five Digest

Issue #1417 - February 27, 1999



Magical Armchair Digest  Saturday, February 27 1999  Volume 01 : Number 1417



                          THE MAGICAL ARMCHAIR
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TOPICS IN THIS DIGEST:

    doh
    Dear Armchair Members
    gasp
    I'm getting tired of ALL of you...Age 1 to 100
    oy vey
    Re: Marky Mark and his Funky Post
    About the unpleasantness... sorry I just had to.
    Trivia???
    Re: Chicago Show
    TUBORM
    sydney 98
    Amazing Discoveries
    Singles?
    Shut Up!!!
    Re: Armchair #1416
    ***---_Read This_---***
    new tourdates
    hiya chair...FREE BISCUITS!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Thu, 25 Feb 1999 20:45:49 -0500 (EST)
From: Ginger Nance <gnance@email.unc.edu>
Subject: doh

In correction to my last post, those of you with the Garden Place cd will
recognize track 4, not 3.  I wasn't paying attention--sorry!  

Ginger :)

Ginger Nance                       
gnance@email.unc.edu                       
http://www.unc.edu/~gnance                              
                   

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 25 Feb 1999 21:18:54 EST
From: MongolFunk@aol.com
Subject: Dear Armchair Members

I was wondering.

Since there is no new material, how can people now just suddenly be getting
upset with the "new" fans or whatever. If they are new fans they have become
so out of something besides brick. and if they are here because of brick
they've been fans for a whole year now. I think it's quite interesting that
you are suddenly getting sick and tired of it, it's been going on for over a
year.

- - Katie

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 25 Feb 1999 22:22:29 EST
From: Emaline555@aol.com
Subject: gasp

Somebody bring out the *gasp* inhalers!

I got a really cool BFF promo CD from my friend yesterday. He rocks!

Joke: What did the fish say when he ran into a wall?

Dam.

In love,
Emily

------------------------------

Date: Thu, 25 Feb 1999 23:54:25 EST
From: YourPalCM@aol.com
Subject: I'm getting tired of ALL of you...Age 1 to 100

How long has it been since anyone has said anything constructive about Ben
Folds Five - the BAND, and not just the people on this stupid list.  And this
list is getting really STUPID.  I'm starting to hate almost ALL of you - I
don't care what your age is, it seems as though you are almost ALL annoying
regardless of your age.

Can we please cut the crap already -- this has been going on for a year now.
If you don't have anything to say about Ben Folds Five, don't post!  If you
don't like what someone says, ignore it!  Don't respond to the response of the
response of the response about how someone needs to get a grip -- almost ALL
of you need a grip.  Quit filling up my mailbox with I-hate-you-because-
you're-13 and well-then-I-hate-you-because-you're-old mail.  I DON'T CARE WHO
YOU HATE AND NEITHER DOES ANYONE ELSE!  Go hate each other on your own time.

And for God's sake, don't respond to this message either, it would just be
more wasted energy.  Consider this the end of the wars on the Armchair.  All
future posts shall contain nothing except pertinent information on Ben Folds
Five.  Thank you.  Your Pal, Chris Mal has spoken.  :-)

------------------------------

Date: Fri, 26 Feb 1999 00:19:32 EST
From: Pyser02@aol.com
Subject: oy vey

wow. this list is such crap sometimes. how funny would it be if ben or any
other member decided that they are going to read just one MA, and they read
digest 1416...the one with everyone replying to the "gasp" guy. suffice to
say, if that was the first digest i ever read, i wouldnt read any more...

but ive been on this list for a long time now, and i know that we are capable
of actually saying some interesting stuff...when we are bitching about another
post. so everyone, just ignore stuff that makes you upset.

i think sometimes the only reason its cool to be on this list when the band
isnt touring is to read the cool quotes at the end of peoples posts...

in any event, go listen to self titled. you'll feel better.

aaron

"im in love with world, through the eyes of a girl"  - e. smith

------------------------------

Date: Fri, 26 Feb 1999 00:58:09 EST
From: Brad654@aol.com
Subject: Re: Marky Mark and his Funky Post

In a message dated 2/24/99 7:00:59 PM Central Standard Time, owner-
armchair@maillist.il.fontys.nl writes:

I know I'm another in a long line of people responding to this, but those of
you who remember me as the asshole guy know that I can't resist. Yes, I
probably should send this to the puy privately, but where would the fun be in
that?

>  Well, I'm leaving this list too. But it's not that they're too 'cool' for
>  me. It's more like, you are all a bunch of obsessed, teenage losers. I
don't
>  mean any offense, but maybe you guys should experience some new things. 

Hmm. I haven't been called a teenager in 10 years. I wonder if that's because
I haven't been a teenager for 10 years.

>  as sunshine, and someplace besides high school/jr. high school, and your
>  house. There is more to life than screaming to people on the internet or to
>  anyone who will listen that some band rules. We all know that. Just get a
>  hobby or something. Things I recommend:

Maybe we should all take up your hobby, which is probably _____ (fill in your
own masturbation reference here).

>  1. Listening to *gasp*OTHER cd's. Sorry, I know you'll have to empty your
>  changer, but them's the breaks.

Ha! Aren't you clever? But see, I think a lot of people on this list are like
me, and by that I mean that we have hundreds of cds and listen to them
regularly, right alongside BF5. You know, I have listened to BF5 maybe once in
the past 2 months. I still love the band, and they're still hands down my
favorite act out there, but I, and I think most of the rest of us, like other
things, too. I've been on a strange Letters To Cleo/ Rufus Wainwright kick
lately. but I digress.

>  2. Talking to members of the *gasp* opposite sex. 

OK, I talk to my wife every day. Does that count?

>  3. Not being so anal about everything to do with the band. So maybe someone
>  mistyped the lyrics to a song. Don't rip them a new ass. People make
>  mistakes, even *gasp* you.

And even you, too? You make mistakes? Gee, how big of you to admit that (but
then I gues you didn't, really). Mistakes like what? Your dumbass post? And
what's with *gasp* all this "*gasp*" idiocy?

>  4. Learn the intricate workings of an email editor. If you are so brain-
dead
>  that you can repost more than one armchair by accident, I shudder to think
>  of the possibilites of you attempting to operate a motor vehicle, owning a
>  firearm, or drinking from a cup. Which you guys may be doing *gasp* sooner
>  than we legal adults may think.

Drinking from a cup! My sides are splitting here! You're killing me! Man, I
love that you're so funny. Oops, I guess I should have written, "I love *gasp*
that you're so funny."
  
>  In conclusion, a nice big one finger salute to all you obsessive anal 
> preteens. 

Now that's a clever little email. It's a shame you won't be on the list
anymore. 

You know, it seems to me that the thing that has made this list tiresome from
time to time is the long-winded posts from people like you who enlighten all
of us (who don't care) as to why *gasp* you're leaving the list. This happened
several months ago witht he vaunted Rockford Files bunch. They talked about
how stupid we were and how much of an asshole I personally was, but our list
survived without them, much, I'm sure, to their chagrin. We'll survive without
your sorry ass, too.

Just fucking unsubscribe and go away, you pissy little bitch.

------------------------------

Date: Fri, 26 Feb 1999 03:54:52 -0800
From: Clare <oakes@box.net.au>
Subject: About the unpleasantness... sorry I just had to.

Please... we've been through this too many times before... ~no~ sweeping 
generalisations about age (you probably were a 'young' fan once or will 
be an 'old' fan in the future) or people that have been fans for x years 
(so maybe some people aren't lucky enough to hear them until they get 
played on the radio), it just makes you look ignorant.
And I think it's ironic that people who stop liking a band because it's 
'too cool' think they can make judgements about the calibre of other 
fans. 
I realise the irony in this too, but: keep it off the MA.
So listen to some BF5, breathe deeply and remember why we're all on this 
list.
				  Clare
				   Co:

'Cos happy and sad come in quick succession
I'm never going to become..
			   ..what you became
					    -elliott smith
- -- 
*************************************************************************
Everyone gather round now...               ...Clare's BEN FOLDS FIVE Page
Co:           http://www.geocities.com/SunsetStrip/Vine/3381          Co:

------------------------------

Date: Fri, 26 Feb 1999 01:22:19 EST
From: BenFoldss5@aol.com
Subject: Trivia???

Whoa there, people are getting a little too peeved on this list.  Oh well, at
least I'm not one of them.  So anyway, remember my little trivia question?  It
was this...

In which song(s) does Ben actually refer to himself by his first name?  Here's
a hint: we're not talking mainstream stuff here.

The answers, as far as I know and I'm not making things up as I'd like to hear
then, are:

1.  Rocky - "He says 'Ben, we both know you're asleep..."
2.  Lonely - "That's just how I am, I'm one little Ben..."

If that's what it really says, I love the last quote - fits really well in the
song and all.  I can't think of any more trivia right now, but I encourage
more peeps to submit questions like this, they're lots of fun.  More fun than
arguing, at least.  See y'alls.

Jon.

------------------------------

Date: Fri, 26 Feb 1999 01:52:18 -0600
From: Sarah Troupis <s-troupis@nwu.edu>
Subject: Re: Chicago Show

	Hi all, what's up in Ben Fold's Five Land?  I just saw the new, added
dates for the tour, and I'm happy to see the Chicago show up - May 3 at
Park West.  Anyone with any info, please, please e-mail me as soon as
possible.  I am going to this show, that's a given.
	One other thing - if there are legal issues with Reinhold, I suggest that
the guys name the album after some random Armchair member (you know, just
substitute one of our names for his).  How incredibly messed up and
wonderful all at the same time would that be?  And I don't think any of us
would care about legal issues (I know I'd be all for having a BFF album
named after me).  Just a random suggestion from a college kid who is trying
to avoid studying at two in the morning.

Sarah
P.S.- My roommate and I have already decided we can have the album
memorized in its entirety by showtime on May 3.  Easy.

------------------------------

Date: Fri, 26 Feb 1999 04:51:12 PST
From: "Alice Childress" <jbpastie2@hotmail.com>
Subject: TUBORM

just wondering...
any news about an australian
release date yet???
next week i'm off down to
redback to bags my promo
poster. have fun all!
from JANET  =)


______________________________________________________
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------------------------------

Date: Fri, 26 Feb 1999 05:02:02 PST
From: "Alice Childress" <jbpastie2@hotmail.com>
Subject: sydney 98

i know i've asked this before,
but i'd really like to hear
from someone who has a good,
relatively close up photo from
the concert they did at the
enmore on july 27th, 98. please
email me. i've got some things
i could trade. thankyou!
JANET =)
ps. apologies for the double post.

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------------------------------

Date: Fri, 26 Feb 1999 08:20:14 -0500
From: Nick Weil <weil@fas.harvard.edu>
Subject: Amazing Discoveries

Hey guys!  If you use *gasp* cut-and-paste when you *gasp* post to the
Magical Armchair, it becomes really *gasp* easy to make fun of our *gasp*
friend Mark who's leaving us so *gasp* prematurely!

Nick

------------------------------

Date: Fri, 26 Feb 1999 07:48:07 PST
From: "Mike Keehn" <mikeqf@hotmail.com>
Subject: Singles?

Hey everyone, have any of you insiders heard anything about the Army 
single yet? Just wondering if there's going to be any non-album tracks 
or anything fun like that.

Getting a little too excited about the new album,
Mike

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------------------------------

Date: Fri, 26 Feb 1999 11:23:57 -0600
From: "Mark E. Franzen" <sfranzen.mark@noctrl.edu>
Subject: Shut Up!!!

    I don't care about any of YOUR problems... I don't care who hates who...  I love
Ben Folds Five and right now they have some cool news about the band <the new album...
for those who are slow>.  I don't have all day to read about you people and your
problems.  I am even upset that I am wasting someone else's time and if you agree with
what someone says that doesn't have to do with BFF then do it privately not on this.
For the BEN FOLDS FIVE part of my post which most of you forget.  What is the names of
the songs on the new disc? I thought I saw someone post the list on another Armchair!

Mark

"That lassie got glassed and no cunt leaves til we find out which cunt did it!...  Who
the fuck are you?  Ahhhhhhh <followed by a kick in the groin>"     Trainspotting

------------------------------

Date: Fri, 26 Feb 1999 12:54:01 EST
From: Gunther256@aol.com
Subject: Re: Armchair #1416

I'm now going to add my voice to the pitifully few others who have requested
that we stop these idiotic arguments... unless I'm severely, mistaken -- and
please tell me if I am -- the Armchair was intended to discuss Ben Folds Five
and bring fans together, not to assist in further separating them in massive
flame wars.  Could we stop this idiocy please?

Also, for about 3 months I just flat-out stopped reading the Armchair because
it came too often.  Could someone please explain to me what exactly the "brink
phenomenon" is?  I've been unable to figure it out from context thus far.

Now, could we perhaps lay off the ridiculous overquoting of the messages that
we find offensive?  All we're doing is giving those obnoxious messages more
exposure than they ever would have gotten otherwise.

Personal kudos to Garrett, RobinA, Michigan Joe, "molly-o" and jill, the
voices of reason, for their posts in #1416.

Cheers,
- - Rob
http://inigima.8m.com
Comments, questions, bad advice: gunther256@aol.com
"Don't be humble, you're not that great."
              - Golda Meir

------------------------------

Date: Fri, 26 Feb 1999 14:52:39 -0500
From: Evan Quinto <evan@dc.jones.com>
Subject: ***---_Read This_---***

"Can't We All Just Get Along?"

------------------------------

Date: Fri, 26 Feb 1999 13:20:31 -0800 (PST)
From: ralph kyatsu <inane_insane@yahoo.com>
Subject: new tourdates

Valerie wrote:
>>Now, let's get some bloody frigging shows in Canada, DAMMIT!!

05/05/99 Toronto Canada Guvernment
there you go valerie = )

there are also a bunch of other new dates on the tour page so check it
out

can;t wait..a new BFF album and a concert






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------------------------------

Date: Fri, 26 Feb 1999 14:05:59 PST
From: "Nicholas Kirby" <childrenodamind@hotmail.com>
Subject: hiya chair...FREE BISCUITS!

hehe, all this anal talk on the armchair reminds me of that joke...man 
youre so anal that when you sit down the chair disapears...maybe thats a 
rather sad metaphor. i mean, i dont have any kind of claim to being on 
for years upon years but i do know that people need to just loosen up a 
little, not to sound like a broken record...speaking of records! is 
there any validity in the hypothesis about the song "ARMY ...something 
something" being a sequel to "KATE" hehe what a great song. and on the 
claim about brick, i dont even like that song thank you very much...
NICHOLAS

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------------------------------

End of Magical Armchair Digest V1 #1417
***************************************


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