THE MAGICAL ARMCHAIR
The Ben Folds Five Digest
Issue #1498 - May 1, 1999
Magical Armchair Digest Saturday, May 1 1999 Volume 01 : Number 1498
THE MAGICAL ARMCHAIR
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TOPICS IN THIS DIGEST:
steak
next single
rainbow connection
G'Town & Spare Reels
Uncut VH1 (UK)
for the us bffers-melody maker interview with ben
that record
Who he?
Radiohead connection/550 Hype
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Date: Fri, 30 Apr 1999 00:42:20 -0400
From: Jody Clark <U_jclark@umassd.edu>
Subject: steak
hi kids, it's jody. a couple things: first, i have been to amherst,
springfield, and uri so far this tour. next is williams and tufts. yay!
ok, so if you were at springfield or uri, i was the dork with the sign that
said "Robby Rob's in tha mutha fuckin house" on one side and "Please cook
my steak again" on the other. yup, that was me, up front, with the sign
trying to impress the boys. and it worked, they liked it. we gave it to
rob after uri, he was happy.
ok, so if you are going to be at williams or at tufts this weekend, look
out for me. i probably won't have a sign at williams, but i probably will
at tufts. don't know what it's gonna say yet. anyway, i'll be wearing a
black tshirt that says "my black tshirt" on it. i'm a short gal with short
brown hair. say hi if you see me! i always show up way early so i'll
probably be way up front.
let's see. letterman was great, boy, did i laugh when ben sang "i thought
about your mommy!" ha!
yeah, so i'd love to get started into tape trading, but all i've got for
live shows is hollywood night. i've got a kick ass collection of tv stuff,
over 2 hours worth, but most tape traders aren't interested in tv stuff. i
could also trade copies of the providence phoenix with the boys on the
cover, or copies of articles you don't have. if anyone's interested in
helping me get started into tape trading, let me know!
so, i met leigh 13 at uri. that was cool, we're going to meet up at tufts.
it's nice to put a face to the email address.
so, the new album is so fucking good that i can't even listen to it. it's
such an emotional trip. it's so beautiful. i think the only reason jane,
redneck past, and regrets don't seem as good as the first half of the album
is because the first half is so good, nothing is as good as it! at uri,
when they played narcolepsy, it was so gorgeous and powerful. i'm so proud
of our boys.
that reminds me, i'm kind of looking for this kid who i was next to at uri.
the kid with the blood. if you're him, you'll know what i'm talking
about. i'm the one who was next to you on your left, and i said that
narcolepsy was amazing and you said "this is the best day of my life!".
well, that was just such a cool thing to say, and i'd like to talk to you
more, but i was too shy to ask for your email address at the show...so
email me!
the boys are actually starting to remember me at shows! that's so cool!
i can't believe some people don't think that tuborm is brilliant. what are
they thinking?
ok, bye kids, see you at williams and tufts! say hi to me!
jody
------------------------------
Date: Thu, 29 Apr 1999 22:04:43 PDT
From: "kirstine florussen" <partikleman@hotmail.com>
Subject: next single
Hey all!
I was just listening to the bonus disc (aussie copy) and heard the Five
talking about stuff being cut out of Don't Change Your Plans. Then they
went on to say even more may be cut out for the single.....so it's the
Army follow up, perhaps. I kinda don't want it to be a single, I think
I like it too much. I guess the thing I don't want is for it to become
overplayed like Brick. Having said that: Anna, I can see what you mean
about Kermit! Anyone else have any ideas about future singles from
TUBORM?
Kirstine
Get Your Private, Free Email at http://<
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 30 Apr 1999 03:11:00 EDT
From: Mookie9@aol.com
Subject: rainbow connection
In regards to that person who brought up the kermit the frog idea, that is
brilliant. tuesday morning on my way to class I was listening to dont change
your plans for the first time and it was silly and verrrryyy burt bacharach-y
but I still couldnt help dancing down the sidewalk like a total yokel. plus I
it was sunny that morning (and you have to understand, that is a fairly rare
occurence here in the great northwest) so I was not walking, but bopping, or
something, down the street and I felt like I was on freakin sesame street or
something.
God bless the joy of new ben folds five music.
molly
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 30 Apr 1999 03:31:38 -0400
From: dave1179@juno.com
Subject: G'Town & Spare Reels
Alright, so I've lurked around here fro a year and a half and have only
posted like twice, but somebody raised a real interesting point.
Apparently there's a clip on Spare Reels from the BFF concert at G'town
in late 97. I was one of the stage security guards (and still have my
orange shirt autographed by the guys.. even though Sledge spelled his
name wrong the first time..) at the event and I remember talking to one
of the video guys because he said it was going to be footage for a promo
thing later on. Could somebody fill me in on what / how much is included
on Spare because when I picked up the albumn at a store here in DC, they
didn't have any more. Also, if somebody could possibly make a copy of it
(esp if you're at GU, AU, GW, or CUA), I as well as the rest of the
Program Board who ran the concert would really appreciate it. I don't
really have much to offer as a trade, so I guess $$.. Please someone
respond!!!!
- --dave
G'Town Prog. Board Ast Comedy Chair, 97-98
GPB Comedy Chair 98-99
GPB Dance Marathon Director 99-00
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 30 Apr 1999 09:01:18 +0000
From: "Del" <prs14097-001@popmail.prestel.co.uk>
Subject: Uncut VH1 (UK)
Anyone else in the UK see Uncut Ben Folds Five last night on VH1 ? I
thought it was fantastic. They mixed in interviews with an exclusive
live performance. Was anyone from the list there ?
The songs they played were:
Don't change your plans, Mess, Lullabye, Army, Battle, Magic &
Underground
This goes some way to making up for the fact that I couldn't get a
bonus CD or video.
Del.
"Why don't we pitch it to the Franklin 'gosh darn' mint"
VH1 version of Battle.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
http://members.xoom.com/soundsurfer/
Realaudio samples of albums from Allstar Utd, Ben Folds Five,
New Radicals, Stereophonics, Switchfoot & Weezer
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 30 Apr 1999 06:35:33 PDT
From: "rebehka christine cramer" <rccmeg@hotmail.com>
Subject: for the us bffers-melody maker interview with ben
hey guys,
well, i know that its hard to get a copy of melody maker in the us, and i
know that if i was in the good old home of us i would still want to read it,
so ill post this. its this thing they do every month with different people,
its called psycho babble. pretty funny.
melody maker questions in caps, bens responses in regular type, just for
clarification. :-) (oh and by the way, a million pounds is 1/6 million
dollars.)
IF YOU COULD CHOOSE THE MANNER OF YOUR OWN DEATH, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
I guess it would involve crossing over to the rock of Gibraltar in a sports
car convertible of some kind - I don't know anything about cars- and I fuck
up at the bit where you're supposed to change lanes, and I head into an
enourmous truck. Would it be instant? Oh, no, I'd probably be in hospital
for about three years. Everything's complicated with me.
FOR A MILLION POUNDS, WOULD YOU GO FOR THREE MONTHS WITHOUT WASHING,
BRUSHING YOUR TEETH, OR USING DEODARANT, WITHOUT BEING ABLE TO EXPLAIN YOUR
ACTIONS TO OTHERS?
We probably already have! We'd all be rich by now if we'd been paid a
million for it. I suppose you could rinse your mouth out with saltwater or
baking soda or something.... what, you can't do that either? (General
Uproar) What's the conversion rate to the dollar like at the moment... Yeah,
I'd do it. Yeah, I'd put a whole vacation on my credit card and go somewhere
where nobody would care. I'd just sit there and laugh.
DO YOU PREFER BEING AROUND MEN OR WOMEN, AND DO YOUR CLOSEST FRIENDS TEND TO
BE MEN OR WOMEN?
I'd have to go with women. I just think they're better. You can't argue with
that.
WHAT'S YOUR MOST ENJOYABLE DREAM?
Uhhhh... I remember one where I was by a big building in a middle of a field
and I was laying on my back facing up the building. It's one that I'll
always remember. I have absolutely no idea what it means. I remember another
one that I used to have about cats eating other cats' guts out, and their
carcasses laying around and the cats could talk. Um.. Hm. Our drummer
Darren has one about a line of six bottoms, and they're all in differnt
types of underwear, and they all just flash by. Ladies' bottoms. Different
forms, ntohing in particular, they just float by.
YOUR HOUSE, CONTAINING EVERYTHING YOU OWN, CATCHES FIRE. AFTER SAVING YOUR
LOVED ONES AND PETS YOU HAVE TIME TO SAVE ONE ITEM. WHAT DO YOU SAVE?
It would probably have to be my box of tapes. I've recorded everything I've
done since I was, like, nine years old, all on theese cassettes. And if I
had to pick just one of those tapes, it'd be the one I made for my mother of
all the songs I'd written when I was nine, like a 60 minute tape of all the
instrumental songs with my stupid little voice introducing them.
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE IN A FIGHT?
I was at college and a guy sprayed my roommate with a fire extinguisher. It
wasn't really a fight, he just kicked my ass, basically. He was an amateur
boxer, it turned out, just looking for someone to kill. He WOULD actually
have fucking killed me if this Korean guy hadn't jumped to my rescue. What
kind of fire extinguisher? A water one. None of the powder or anything. I
didn't intended to go out and fight the guy, but I started... Well, saying
things, things that were making other people laugh at the guy. It was the
comedy thing that got him, and I had a trash can in my hand. I told him
there was something in it but there was nothing it at all, and he was
kicking the shit out of me within two seconds. I had some stiches, but I'm
fine now. Broke my hand, too, on the wall behind him. Er.... So you don't
mess with me!
WOULD YOU RATHER BE DEAF OR BLIND?
Can you be deaf in one ear and blind in one eye? No? Well, definitely not,
then. Oh! Erm... You need both your ears and your eyes, don't you? Sensory
stuff, very important. That's a hard one. I'd probably keep my ears, and I
don't know if that's a professional decision. Oh, someone else can decide.
I'll take whatever's dealt. The mystery choice.
WHEN DID YOU LAST CRY IN FRONT OF ANOTHER PERSON?
I cried last night at (Delta Blues originator) Tom Maxwell. Wept. Does
crying with laughter count? He made me stop breathing! He was just doing
some wierd thing with his head as if he was a turkey being controlled by a
stick. I just lost it! I was convulsing! He's the guy from Squirrel Nut
Zippers, the horn player.
SOMEBODY THAT YOU LOVE DEEPLY IS BRUTALLY MURDERED AND YOU KNOW THE IDENTITY
OF THE MURDERER. DO YOU SEEK REVENGE?
I think I'd get the audio tapes of all the interviews we've ever done, and
make him listen to them. A bit harsh? Yeah, it probably would be. It's cruel
and unjust, of course, but the thing is that you're just not rational in
that kind of situation. You'd just do it and think about the consequences
later. I'd play them Korn's video too. But then, what about the debt you'd
pay later on? I wouldn't want the spiritual side of me to have that sort of
thing to explain. Life after life after life. So maybe I should take that
back about the interview tapes...I'd, er.. Make them read Melody Maker in a
sweat box.
IF YOU WERE TO DISCOVER THAT YOUR CLOSEST FRIEND WS A HEROIN DEALER, WHAT
WOULD YOU SAY?
Do you want to go out and get some lunch? I'll see you at the soundcheck.
But if you don't want to rehearse this week you don't have to.... I'm really
happy for you, that you've found something that makes you feel fulfilled.
I'm glad that you can pay your rent and that I hope you have more success in
the future. And can you give me back my bicycle? And keep your smelly
girlfriend off my front yard. If anyone asks I don't know you. I fucked her
first. And pick up some toilet paper while you're gone. And some snowballs
and hit me with them when you get back.
WOULD YOU ACCEPT A MILLION POUNDS TO LEAVE THE COUNTRY AND NEVER SET FOOT IN
IT AGAIN?
Would you GIVE us a million pounds? Your readers would probably club
together? Oh, um, yeah! As for leaving America, I'd do that, it's a good
price. If I needed the money, I would. You see that sort of dilemma goes
against the grain of our porgram as Americans, because the general idea in
the States is that if you had a million pounds there's nothing you couldn't
do, so you could just buy your way back into the country. We could win
either way! Or at least get those collagen lip implants. I quite fancy
having those needles hanging out of my mouth, six of them on each lip. With
fluids and stuff coming out.
WOULD YOU BE WILLING TO GO INTO A SLAUGHTERHOUSE AND KILL A COW?
(Immediately)Yes. Just kidding. That would suck! No way! I suppose some
people do it for a job, and if it was my only job option then I'd do it. But
I wouldn't do it in my spare time. I guess if you're upset enough about
something then just to be an adult and have a position of power you'd go and
kill a cow. If you just stepped on a cockaroach it wouldn't be as
satisfying. I think if you actually had to BEAT a cow to death you'd feel
quite good. With your bare hands!
IF THERE WAS A PUBLIC EXECUTION ON TV, WOULD YOU WATCH IT?
I wouldn't watch it live. I mean you'd get a chance to see it later, so I
don't know if I could watch it. Maybe if I got really curious. It just seems
wrong, you don't want to see strangers being shot! You don't need that! It's
the worst! You need some kind of compassion with it... They're being
executed for a reason? Yeah, but not for our entertainment, not for the Fox
Network to make money out of. If it was somebody who killed a cow...Actually
I remember watching a Sinead O Connor performance one time on TV after she
ripped The Pope's picture up, and that's about as close to a public
execution as I've ever seen. Thing is, if you keep dying over and over
again, you win. Just keep dying!!!
well thats it, hope you liked it.
bye bye now,
chrissy.
this is my story both humble and true,
take it to pieces and mend it with glue.
*********************************************************************
'i can never find my stuff.'
- -john lennon
'sure i love liam, but not as much as i love pot noodles.'
- -noel gallagher
*********************************************************************
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www.uclan.ac.uk
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------------------------------
Date: Fri, 30 Apr 1999 15:17:33 +0100
From: Edward Collier <colliere@techop.co.uk>
Subject: that record
Fellow MA's
TUBORM reviewed in today's UK Guardian (liberal / left wing broadsheet) -
they gave it 4 stars. Not a very long review and cannot type it out as I
have foresworn buying the newspaper again until they sack Julie Birchill
(one of the most profoundly stupid persons on the planet, who is
employed as a commentator on the zeitgeist though God only knows
what she thinks she knows about it).
Anyway, back to the review. Basically their take was that bff were too
good for their fans, who they took to be basically the indie crowd. Bollox
say I, having enjoyed your company for a few weeks which allows me to
attest rather more confidently than they have any right to the fans'
essential
good sense and fine taste. The review mentioned the apparent tension
betweeen the music and the lyrics, which they appeared to find somehow
incompatible. Huh? Cloth-eared tossers. They also said that TUBORM
was one of the worst titles of the year. Why?
My feelings about the record? A masterpiece. A fucking 24 carat
masterpiece with as much light and shade as a painting by Vermeer, the
emotional range of the patient list of a busy psychiatrist, the wit of Tom
Waits without the bourbon tremor . . . er, that's enough metaphor, or is it
simile.
Anyway, it is the best record since OK Computer, which someone very
perceptively (in my view) compared it to (take, for instance, the use of
spoken
words over a musical backdrop in Your Most Valuable Possession with
Radiohead's Fitter Happier).
Anyway, back to the choons.
Ed
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 30 Apr 1999 15:40:01 +0100
From: Edward Collier <colliere@techop.co.uk>
Subject: Who he?
Who (or what) is Kool Moe Dee? And does anyone else think
Army might be (sort of) about Clinton?
Ta
Ed
------------------------------
Date: Fri, 30 Apr 1999 12:06:29 -0500 (CDT)
From: Joe Kreidel <z_kreidelrj@TITAN.SFASU.EDU>
Subject: Radiohead connection/550 Hype
> belle and sebastian, elliott smith, and ESPECIALLY radiohead. i think the
> whole "concept album" thing may have been picked up from radiohead, at least
> a wee bit. i think that in terms of the whole album, ben is desperately
> trying to gain some precious indie cred (hey, ala RADIOHEAD!) by creating
> something that he doubts that the whole american public will understand,
I remember reading an interview with Ben after WAEA came out, saying that
for the next album they wanted to try songs like Radiohead did on OK
Computer, long songs with 2-3 parts. Anyone know where this was from, it
was a while ago, I think, 97 or early 98.
> whilst sony/550 is pushing TUBORM as if it's their sole product for the year
I noticed this too. But it may not have been Sony/550, but the local
Hastings, which had about 50 copies of TUBORM, quite a jump from when
there would be 4 or 5 copies WAEA and NBP. And not to be pessimistic about
the bands success, but I'm pretty sure they won't sell 50 copies in this
town anytime soon. I'd be quite shcoked if I go back in a week and more
than 5 are sold. Even in this college town. no one listens to good music.
Unfortunately, I haven't got a copy yet. The suspense is killing me while
I wait for a tape from my sis. But I've been torn between the two things I
spend money on - music and travel, and in this case saving for a
backpacking trip to Utah has won out.
JoeyK
"Spider - He's out hero!"
------------------------------
End of Magical Armchair Digest V1 #1498
***************************************
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